Dr.Knuckles

This thread is the Ask Knuckles advice column.

Problems at work, in bed, want to settle a bet, need a Miss Manners?... I'm your man. Other readers can react to my advice and maybe improve upon it.

Note+ Dr. Knuckles is not a licenced therapist, psychiatrist, or gynocologist - but I'm willing to try.


Make sure to sign off with a pseudonym like 'Sleepless in Seattle' or something.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

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Dubyas-Twin-Sister

Just like you to change your stripes eh Knucks?

knucks.jpg


Curious in California

Goldwater

Dear Dr Knuckles.

I would reelly like to meat a woman, but I am hideous, and I weigh 300 pounds. Oh yea, I penniless, broke, meen, stinky, and I always spel rong. Do you think my chances of finding a nice perty gal are bedder in Canadia?

Signed,
Lookin' fer love in all the rong places.

FFA...Nothing new. The darkies are always threatening to riot if they don't get their way.

freckles

Dear Dr. Knuckles,

When a male polar bear stands on its hind legs, can you see his wee wee or is he too furry?

Signed,
Ms. Bes Tiality

In the wild, there is no healthcare. In the wild healthcare is 'Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me, and I'm dead.' Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead.

Babylon

Dear Dr. Knuckles,

The passed me over for a promotion, kept it in house, yet went with another 20 year Veteran...who didn't even graduate High school.

And they want Change? Sounds almost as Dumb as anybody who Wants that Clinton Whore Bitch slut... You know? Seriously, is it me, or is that shit as Fucked up as Bowling Cleats?

Should I kill somebody?

Sincerely,
The man who's Down....like syndrome..

Dr.Knuckles

Your chances of meeting women in Canada are great, it's your chances of getting your pee-wee stinky with one of them that is non-existant.

What you want to do is come to Vancouver - and then catch a plane to Thailand, find a lady boy who likes it rough, and drill him like an Alaskan wetland. As you'll have signed all your credit cards with the wrong spelling, you can then claim your identity was stolen and it wasn't even you. And you're eased the blue-balls for another year.

ANd I hope this letter wasn't a shot at MY spelling. I do my best.


First of all Bes, you can't spell polar bear without 'pole' and that's not a coincidence. They are hung like a rugby player. The fur does cover most of the 'seal club', but that's just to lure the harp seals into a false sense of security. When aroused, they can use them to hang on to ice flows, then use both hands to fish.

Natures wonders.

Thanks for writing.

Dr.Knuckles

I am middle management myself I am in charge of hiring, firing, and monitoring staff. When I review resumes I make two piles. 'We can afford them' and 'we can't afford them'. I then choose the one form pile A that doesn't have drool or crayon on it. Or blood.

You were passed over for promotion by a moron because paying you what you're worth would be cost-prohibitive. It's much better for ownership to make every job so mind-numbing a monkey could do it... and then go about hiring monkies.

Everyone in management has one goal and one goal only: to so organize the workplace and policies so efficiently that in future nobody will even have to think again. It's all laid out, colour coded and alphabetised. From then on, you can pay illiterate mouth-breathers to just put tab A into slot B for minimum wage and fire anyone with any initiative.

I wish I could tell you to change companies, but it'll all be the same wherever you go.

My advice is to spread false rumours about the guy who got the job. You're probably second in line. Time to cultivate HIS drinking problem.

conservative

Dear Dr. Knuckles:

Are there any signs of "Intelligent Life" at Political Hotwire?

Lonely Enlightened Intellectual

Dubyas-Twin-Sister

Dr. Knuckles seems to have flown the coop....

TenGig

Dear DR. Knuckles.

I got blood in my stool. Should I be concerned?

Signed,
Can't stop picking at it

[i] have a huge penis
-Chika