Djinn

At age three, he is. At age seven, I'm not sure. I'm not exactly sure how students in my daughter's class are punished... she's pretty well-behaved at school, so the subject really doesn't come up often. At home, she's usually punished by being sent to her room. She also gets a $2/wk allowance, so we can chisel away from that by way of punishment if necessary.

On the other hand, my son occasionally tells me that he got a time-out in school (technically it's a daycare).

The daycare instructors tell me that such things are pretty routine, especially with boys, and not to consider it a problem unless the staff brings up the issue with me directly.

But when prodded, he'll tell me that he got a time out for "running around when we were supposed to sit down," which is the most common offense. Once he got too enthusiastic with a matchbox car and it went sailing out the classroom door. I think he bounced a nerf ball off some girl's head once.

But I talk to him, and he acknowledges his crime, and understands why it was wrong. And I don't punish him any further... Like I said, if there's a pattern of concern, the staff will let me know.

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Sparta

Great age. So do you think that the use of time outs actually curbs your childs behavior, or is it more of a tool to have him consider the "why's" of his punishment?

The reason I ask is because I don't see that my son takes conciquences in to account when he's off the wall. Not that it happens all that much, he's not a "problem child", but he is 7.

Djinn

It seems to work. He's generally a well-behaved kid (going by the daycare staff's assessment). When he screws up and misbehaves, he seems to have a genuine understanding of what he did wrong, and he makes an effort not to repeat the offense.

At home, he's aware that if he gets sent to his room, he'll miss something during that time. Might be dessert. Might be the end of a television show. Either way, we don't wait for him.

I suppose it helps that he very rarely gets in trouble for "confrontational" issues, like hitting or teasing students, or mouthing off to the staff. Most of the time, it's more along the lines of not-sitting-down-when-told-to.

Two nights ago, my daughter got busted at home... I'd sent the two of them to go wash their hands before dinner, and before long, he was crying, claiming that his sister hit him.

She maintained her innocence. He accused her of hitting him on the butt.

I asked her if she spanked him. She said no. He yelled "Yes she did!"

Then I asked him "Did you deserve to be spanked?" He replied "No!" Then his big sister yelled "Yes he did!"

Then she realized her mistake. I scolded her briefly, and let the matter go... I was pretty sure that he was getting in her face and probably did deserve to be swatted.

TheHangingChad

Well the idea that you can't find an alternative to slapping a kid is a little concerning but I'll go with he flow here. There’s nothing wrong with the educational system, it educates just fine for what we need it to. It’s just a terrible social safety net, and it wasn't designed to be a baby sitter.

People who opt not to be educated should be let free to find their own way. I don't know exactly what age we're talking about here but if you're thinking High School then by all means, try working at a gas station for awhile and then weigh your options.

If you're talking about a much younger age well then I'd say these children are victims of their parents. And its not really fair, nor should it be the policy of municipal governments to punish children for the sins of their father. An 8 year old can never have discipline, they just are aware of how their parents handle things. If there parents aren't handling things, then we ought to do something with the parents.

And by the way, to ascribe political leanings to the way schools are run is foolish. What’s liberal about it? If we made it more conservative would we downsize the school committee or cut prices in the school cafeteria?